my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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