that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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