you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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