it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can't turn off my feet"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
