from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
