Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
