i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
