I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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