I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
