She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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