I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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