not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
