Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
