Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
pray to the hookup gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize