i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
