I'm so fucking centered right now
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
