finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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