I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
they're like a gay fantastic four
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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