That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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