it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
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I think your dad took our porno
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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