i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize