We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
