either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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