can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
