I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Houston, we have a blender
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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