he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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