whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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