you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The power of my boobs compel you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
