TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
