put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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