I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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