you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
