You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
from now on my penis is your penis
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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