So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
