so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
