Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize