well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
