Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
