Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
His hands were made for my vagina.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dicks are not precious.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
