i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize