That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
