I want to stick my p in your. b.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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