Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize