hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
