Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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