I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
