can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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