we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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