i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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