in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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