Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
