Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Randomize
