You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
