Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Even my vagina gasped.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
