So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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