If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
