ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
