just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
