I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
