dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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