And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
