i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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