Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
