You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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