She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
