Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
