I wish I only lived at night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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