After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Houston, we have a blender
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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