After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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