oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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