Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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