Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She's JV to your varsity
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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