How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
