My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
